As kids we have lived our fantasies of having the “best mom” or the “best dad”. While we grew out of it into reality, so will our kids. Its crazy to be standing at the other end, where as parents we now want to be the best of all. One can call it the “supermom syndrome” where one wants to be the do it all mom, who would have an answer to everything. There is no denying that we want what’s best for our kids, but in the process its very easy to get lost in the stresses you get exposed to. At some point, for your own good and for the benefit of your mental peace, its important to realize your limitations and know how good is good for you and your family.
Its absolutely fine to not be the perfect one. Many of us often stretch ourselves beyond the bounds of our level and hurt our ability to be a good mom or a parent. Its not just hard on yourself, but your family too. There might be times when your son despises you for missing his soccer game, but you had an important presentation at work right? There would be a next time. Its important to let things go and not be hard on self. You might want to read bedtime stories to your kids while your kitchen remains a mess for a while. Its important to lighten the mood and its ok to be a slacker at times as well. At the end of the day, you want to be a good mom, there is no such thing as the “super-mom”.
No matter how much your envy the family next door, only you can be the best judge for your children and the kind of exposure you need to provide them. Its not healthy to over burden your kids with 7 days of classes after school, be it skating or swimming or some music lessons. This over scheduling has never worked wonders for anyone. Learn to space out time with them and decide what’s healthy and most interests them. At the same time, make space for some family time or an activity they love to do, even if it involves nothing constructive or challenging. Do not let the pressures from the society, dictate your decisions and at the same time do not make their days monotonous. Its best to give them a variety to enjoy and experience, and its not always bad to allow a couple of hours in a week with their Nintendo wii.
While your kids are on it, it’s crucial that you don’t get lost in taking care of them as the only goal. Take some time off, give yourself a break, take a walk, watch your favorite show or just call some friends over. May be they have children whom your kids would love playing with too. It’s all about everyone being happy and neither getting stressed in the process. Talk to your husband; also spend time as a couple. If growing up healthy is important for kids, it’s as important for the mother to provide them a healthy environment, and it only starts in your own mind.
Assign duties; make your relationship more interactive. Award them for helping you set the table or making dinner. Involve your kids and make-work and play more fun. Don’t hesitate to become a kid yourself if you need to. Get rid of your inhibitions and think like you did when you were at their age. At times it helps to laugh like a child and enjoy like an innocent. You could be your child’s best friend and who wouldn’t want that?
Finally, don’t forget who you as a person, even before you are a wife, a mother or an employee. Your individuality would govern the way you are to your family. You won’t want to get lost in fulfilling your duties. Take up old hobbies and things you have always loved doing. Join piano classes if that’s what you enjoy doing or learn a language you have always wanted to speak. You have been blessed with a life which you rather celebrate and enjoy every moment of it. And the take home lesson is, the world starts from you. To be a good mom, you need to be good to yourself. In the eyes of your child, you already are “the super mom”